Eir – Some Service!

* What’s below, is the short version of full events *
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Decided yesterday to look into upgrading the internet speed that is allocated to my family home. The situation is this. (a) Have standard 100 meg per second package, for home. (b) No house phone as one not needed. Just internet connection. (c) 6 kids, two adults house. Kids often using tablets, hones and laptops – besides smart TV and own PC’s too – all going at same time. (d) just 40 yards down the road, is the Eir box for providing internet connection for the whole Termonfeckin road area.
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1. I went online to check out the prices of opting for fibre service. Noticed that all their prices were given WITH house phone connected. No prices displayed for just the cost of fibre connection.
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2. Decided to try the live chat to inquire about the latter prices. Using a online chat facility on their Eir site, eventually got through. Just after (typing) saying “Hi” and then going on in typing to explain the situation, the person at the other end, ended the conversation abruptly. “Odd” thought I. “Probably down to a fault” I thought. “I will try again”.
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3. Tried the online chat ability again. Got through. Started chatting again. Started explaining the same thing again. Then they cut me off. Ended the conversation. “Ok, this is very odd…” I started thinking…
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4. Determined to resolve the original query, I decided to give them a ring. Looked up the sales number for Eir though their site. Grand, I found it hidden on a bottom of a page. Rang it…. After going through the now standard “Press 1, press 2, press 3 levels of computer automation that’s with a lot of services – after 10 minutes actually got to speak to a live person – only to be told “Yes, this is the sales line but your sales question cannot be answers by us and we cannot transfer you. You have to call another number…”
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5. Me: “Aaa.. for f**ks sake!”
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6. After counting to ten, I then rang the second Eir number. Rang it…. After again going through the now standard “Press 1, press 2, press 3 levels of computer automation,12 minutes later actually got to speak to a live person. I began to explain the situation. Happy days, I might get help now… No. The person at the other end hung up. Me: “WTF!!!”
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7. Tried calling the number again. Yes, waded through “Press 1, press 2, press 3 levels of computer automation – after 7 minutes actually got to speak to a live person. Explained the situation again. I’ve lost count of times I have done this now. “Ok, I will transfer you to the section that will deal with your query”. “Here we go again” thinks I….
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8. Another person answers. “How can I help you?”
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9. Me: (thinking) FFS!!! – (Speaking) explains the situation YET AGAIN…
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10. Person on other end “Before I answer your sales question, can I get your account details?” Me then thinking “Why do you need my broadband account details to answer a simple question?” I ask about this. Person at other end refuses to discuss my sales question till I gave them my account details. As I was not within reach of a Eir bill at the time and don’t have a head of a computer to remember every account number I have, I was unable to quote the Eir account number. Related this. The person at the other end suddenly hung up! I’m getting used to this!!!
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11. Tried calling the second sales number for the third time. Yes, waded through the “Press one, Press two, etc” crap again. Got to speak to another live person after five minutes of elevator music… This person on hearing my explanation of what I was looking for – yes, I had to retell the same shit all over again – was able themselves to answer my question. However, I must give them details of my current account. “FFS!!! Here we go again…” I started to think.
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12. Operator at the other end… “You don’t know your account number? That’s fine. I can look you up on our system. (Me thinking: “While the hell couldn’t the other person do this?”) After answering a few I.D. questions asked “Yes, I can confirm you are you”. Me: “Nice to know I’m me”
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13. Eir operator: “Well, I can see you live in the Drogheda area. I’m sorry to tell you, that fibre service is not available yet in your district”
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Me: “…But I live in the official biggest town in Ireland. Are you telling me the biggest town in Ireland cannot have the fibre service? What sort of madness is that?”
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Eir operator: “Yes sir. Your region is part of a planned future rollout.”
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Me: “Can you give any indication when that might be at all?” I ask politely, acknowledging that in no way was it the fault of the person at the other end.
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Eir operator: “I’m afraid not. It could be three weeks. I could be six months. It could be two years… There are three people in the world that might be able to answer your question. One of them might be in the Vatican City, one might be buried in a bunker somewhere hiding from the world and the third is possibly sitting in a Dublin office getting four times my pay for not answering your question!”
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I had to laugh. At least this operator was honest with me and had a sense of humour. I wished them a good day under the present CV19 circumstances and bore them no malice. They are only a small cog in a big machine that is Eir.
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CONCLUSION: After over 45+ minutes of Eir systems giving me the run around, multiple cut-offs, switched numbers and transfers… no better off.
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Eir have a hell of a way to run a business.
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If the BIGGEST town in Ireland cannot even get a decent – or any – fibre service to it, we’re in trouble. Now, if I said my name was “Denis O’Brien” or a meat packing plant owner, I personally might have stood a better chance of decent service or less cut-offs?